The Tim Tebow post

Yesterday I was folding some clothes while watching Sportscenter when a Tim Tebow segment came on. The rookie QB was asked about his role for the upcoming season and quickly responded that he'd "give all of his heart to anything the team asked of him."

Tim Tebow annoys me. I don't know why. On the surface, it seems to me Tebow is everything that we want out of our sports stars: physical, a winner, a team player, a leader. A guy who would knock you in the teeth on the field and help you up after he ran over you.

But for me, something's just over the top. I can't help not liking the guy. Maybe it's the whole missionary thing. Maybe it's the constant Jesus talk. Or maybe it's him talking about being a virgin with the media. Something about the guy just irks me. I don't know why.

It's not that he's being fake - it's that the real Tim Tebow is just too much.

Things to do when your favorite baseball team is terrible

1. Stop rooting for the Mariners

NBC deserves a kick to the penis

NBC, the fuck is wrong with you?

Really, why do you think we want to watch tape-delayed Olympic events six hours after the fact? This isn't 1985. There's this thing called the Internet. Newspapers and other outlets report the scores and results online instantaneously.

Crazy and cutting-edge, I know.

In the news

I know it's been almost a year since there's been a post here. But instead of acknowledging that, I'm just going to awkwardly post again and act like that whole thing didn't happen. Nice huh?

So the Saints won the Super Bowl and now we've been subject to numerous stories about how much it means to the town, you know, since that giant fucking hurricane and all. Really? Because the people whose houses were destroyed by Katrina are so much happier now because of a football game? The media has been portraying the Saints as these heroes who valiantly won a Super Bowl title to make all well again in New Orleans. They seem to forget that hurricane happened, oh almost five years ago.

Sure glad the Yankees won the World Series last season. Really brought a closure to that town after 9-11 and all.

People I Hate: Jay Cutler

Jay Cutler is a bitch.

There I said it and really, it needed to be said. Because of his stupid ugly face and intolerable haircut, I bet lots of people talk about how they'd "kick that douche in the nuts", but really, if I ever saw Jay Cutler, honestly, I would kick him in the face.

See the above picture? That's the google image result for "Jay Cutler is a douche". Try it if you don't believe me. If you do a regular google search of "Jay Cutler is a douche", you get 10,300 results. That's because everyone hates Jay Cutler, except faggy Bears fans who refuse to believe they gave the house to get a total turd. I'd rather have Kyle "Neckbeard" Orton than Jay Cutler. Actually I'd rather have Randy Orton as my QB than Jay Cutler.

I remember the days when quarterbacks ate lightning and shit thunder. Now, all because new Bronco's coach Josh McDaniels didn't invite Jay to his birthday party, well that made Jay real unhappylike, so he started crying. If Joe Montana was around, odds are he would kick Jay Cutler in the face too.

Jay Cutler went to Vanderbilt. You know who else went to Vanderbilt? Al fucking Gore. That's not a coincidence.

In short, fuck Jay Cutler.

Reason #14,789 why we support Larry Stone

From his blog:

On the Mariner's "clubhouse issues"

While Geoff details the improvement in clubhouse mood -- and I witnessed it myself -- I don't see that as overly influential in their record. I think, for the most part, their clubhouse was dysfunctional last year because they sucked, not the other way around.

FishBear Daily Dish

A-Roid
I have to thank Mrs. FishBear for the creative name. Simple, yet effective. Now on the subject of Alex Rodriguez, seriously, I'm sick of turning on my TV and seeing his mug every fucking time. We get that he used steroids, do we need to see it every two seconds on every channel except HGTV?

Some people are saying A-Rod was supposed to be our "clean hero", the one who broke Barry Bonds' homerun record and took back the most hallowed record in sports. Well, there goes that plan.

The sad thing is thinking that many of these tarnished records will stand for years now that there is more stringent testing.

Though if I have to turn on my TV one more time and see A-Rod talking about his "guilt", I'm going to kill someone. Nice apology too, Alex. Way to deflect all blame onto the era. Toolbox.

Michael Phelps
Here's another story that needs to end now.

The guy smoked pot.

Does that make him a douchebag? Well, I always thought Michael Phelps was a douchebag so it didn't really change my opinion any.

But I do like how the media is more upset that Phelps took a hit off a bong than they were when he got a DUI at age 19. HE COULDA KILLED SOMEBODY WITH THAT BONG!!!!!!

On another note, who is the awesome guy who took that picture? That shit probably paid his student loans and more.

Pac-Man Jones era is over in Dallas
The Cowboys released Adam "Pac-Man" Jones this morning, and I was able to obtain a copy of Pac-Man's daily schedule henceforth:
10:00 a.m.: Roll out of bed, smoke blunt
10:30 a.m.: Breakfast, blunt
11:00 a.m.: Dump, blunt
11:05 a.m.-7:00 p.m.: Clean guns, hangout with people of questionable character
8:00 p.m.: Hit the clubs, drink expensive liquor, hit women, shoot guns
4:00 a.m.: Bedtime blunt, sleep, repeat