Photo courtesy of FishBear Sports
Carlos Silva
Born: 4/23/1979
Height: 6'4''
Weight: 856 lbs
2008 record: 4-13, 5.93 ERA
Contract: 4 years/$48M (2008-11), plus 2012 mutual option
Contract highlights:
* $5 million signing bonus
* 2008 no-trade clause
* Award bonuses of: $200,000 for Cy Young, $100,000 for World Series MVP, $50,000 for League Championship Series MVP, Gold Glove, All-Star
* Suite on the road
* Pre-game spread of nachos, hot dogs, guacamole, beer brauts, pretzels, Ichi-rolls and cinnabons
* 1st inning hot dog delivered to mound by head trainer Rick Griffin following second out
* 2nd inning hot dog delivered to mound by head trainer Rick Griffin following second out
* Dugout hot dog awaiting following inevitable third-inning collapse
* Post-game spread, same as pre-game
* Taco wagon to be stationed outside players entrance
* Puppy
* Mayo tub for post-game soak down
Carlos Silva is fat and worthless.
------UPDATE------
After Tubagoo's latest outing, the "pitcher" had some choice words for his Mariner teammates.
"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall and something's going to change," he said, speaking of himself. "I'm very close to doing that, so write that down."
and added:
"Instead of moving over a runner, they want to get a base hit because of their numbers," Silva said. "Instead of maybe looking for a ground ball, they want to strike him out because of the numbers."
He later added: "It's tough, man. It's tough, because you never want to be in this [last-place] position. Because, especially for us, as a pitcher, it's going to kill you. Especially as a starting pitcher, that's going to affect you so much."
So things we've learned from that rant:
1) Carlos Silva refers to himself as "Chief"
2) Carlos Silva refers to himself in the third person
3) Carlos Silva thinks grabbing one of his teammates by the neck and throwing him into the wall is going to change the Mariners from sucking.
4) Carlos Silva is Ike Turner
5) Carlos Silva says his teammates only care about their stats and that hurts the team.
6) Carlos Silva says his teammates only caring about their stats affect his stats and that hurts him.
7) Carlos Silva is unaware that he blows goats as a major league pitcher.
4 comments:
once again, another great signing by the seattle mariners.
LET THE MARINERS BASHING BEGIN...
...just watched them score no runs with bases loaded and no outs against the Texas Rangers.
Ladies and Gentlemen, your 2008 Seattle Mariners.
On a brighter note Seahawks single game tickets go on sale next Monday at 10 a.m. Football season can't come soon enough.
fishballs I heard you have to give him blowjobs as part of his contract. I also heard you lick all the mayo off his body after his time in the mayo tub
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