Carlos Silva's contract-NOW updated with more Silva goodness

Photo courtesy of FishBear Sports

Carlos Silva
Born: 4/23/1979
Height: 6'4''
Weight: 856 lbs

2008 record: 4-13, 5.93 ERA

Contract: 4 years/$48M (2008-11), plus 2012 mutual option
Contract highlights:

* $5 million signing bonus
* 2008 no-trade clause
* Award bonuses of: $200,000 for Cy Young, $100,000 for World Series MVP, $50,000 for League Championship Series MVP, Gold Glove, All-Star
* Suite on the road
* Pre-game spread of nachos, hot dogs, guacamole, beer brauts, pretzels, Ichi-rolls and cinnabons
* 1st inning hot dog delivered to mound by head trainer Rick Griffin following second out
* 2nd inning hot dog delivered to mound by head trainer Rick Griffin following second out
* Dugout hot dog awaiting following inevitable third-inning collapse
* Post-game spread, same as pre-game
* Taco wagon to be stationed outside players entrance
* Puppy
* Mayo tub for post-game soak down

Carlos Silva is fat and worthless.

------UPDATE------

After Tubagoo's latest outing, the "pitcher" had some choice words for his Mariner teammates.

"Maybe Chief has to go and grab somebody from his neck and throw him into the wall and something's going to change," he said, speaking of himself. "I'm very close to doing that, so write that down."

and added:

"Instead of moving over a runner, they want to get a base hit because of their numbers," Silva said. "Instead of maybe looking for a ground ball, they want to strike him out because of the numbers."

He later added: "It's tough, man. It's tough, because you never want to be in this [last-place] position. Because, especially for us, as a pitcher, it's going to kill you. Especially as a starting pitcher, that's going to affect you so much."

So things we've learned from that rant:
1) Carlos Silva refers to himself as "Chief"
2) Carlos Silva refers to himself in the third person
3) Carlos Silva thinks grabbing one of his teammates by the neck and throwing him into the wall is going to change the Mariners from sucking.
4) Carlos Silva is Ike Turner
5) Carlos Silva says his teammates only care about their stats and that hurts the team.
6) Carlos Silva says his teammates only caring about their stats affect his stats and that hurts him.
7) Carlos Silva is unaware that he blows goats as a major league pitcher.

Mariners trade talk

With the trading deadline looming, it appears the Mariners have players they're looking to jettison. But the M's apparently aren't going to give away pieces without getting something in return.

The rumored Jarrod-Washburn-to-the-Yankees seems to make sense for both sides (The M's shed salary and a shitty pitcher, the Yankees take on said shitty pitcher), but it looks like they are at an impasse right now.

That stems from the M's refusal to give up Washburn for nothing, something the Yanks might venture to change their mind about before tomorrow's deadline.

From Times beat writer Geoff Baker's blog:

But if it's a salary-only deal anyway, the M's can just let that claiming team take Washburn and all of his salary. What do they care? At most, they'd lose that third-rate, token prospect the Yanks are offering to throw in right now. No big deal. As we discussed, as long as the Yanks stick to their current position, the M's are under no pressure to move Washburn by tomorrow. They can always call New York's bluff and then, if they really are desperate to unload his salary, just make the move on Aug. 1. New York's needs won't change in one day. They aren't going to walk away from the salary-only deal just because 24 hours have passed.

We'll see. I don't know how many teams are clamoring to sweep up Washburn, no matter how many teams are looking for left-handed starters. That salary is unattractive. And his tendency to suck balls at pitching isn't the greatest selling point.

I'm more optimistic about Arthur Rhodes getting traded. Every deadline it seems teams look to swipe up a LEFT HANDED SET-UP MAN like it's in the recipe for a World Series title. Rhodes decent play (2.53 ERA in 35 games; 26 K's to 10 BB's) makes him attractive to somebody. Which means the M's could net something in return. And of course, the guy brings up your street cred immediately with that bling.

I don't expect much to happen, but we'll see. I certainly don't see Raul Ibanez or Adrian Beltre being moved. I'm even doubtful on Washburn.

What trades would you make before the deadline? Within reason of course.

Hockey players know how to throw a wedding

Former Avalanche wing and current St. Louis Blue Dan Hinote married Amy McCarthy last weekend in what can only be described as a classy setting. Because Fidel Castro was there.

Oh wait, it was just that wacky funnyman Jim Carrey dressed as Castro. Carrey was there because he's bumping uglies with Amy's sister Jenny, who walked down the aisle with Peter Forsberg.

I wish I were at that wedding.

Seahawks burning questions

Part I of II

It's that time of the year again - training camp time.
The Seattle Seahawks officially begin camp Friday morning at 9:15 a.m. from their Kirkland team headquarters with two-a-day sessions until Aug. 2. With the opening game against the Bills in Buffalo only 44 days away, it's time to take a look at the burning questions facing the Seahawks' offense in the 2008-09 season.

1. Will the running game get it done this season?
The Seahawks think their off-season acquisitions have addressed this question, which was a glaring weakness for the team last season, when Seattle averaged only 101.2 yards per game on the ground, 20th overall in the NFL.

The team jettisoned leading rusher and 2005 NFL MVP Shaun Alexander, who led the team with 716 yards rushing and four touchdowns, and signed former Cowboy Julius Jones, as well as the built-like-a-brickhouse TJ Duckett. Seattle also selected running back Justin Forsett in the seventh round of this year's NFL Draft out of the University of California.

The Seahawks are banking on Jones, who rushed for 588 yards and two scores last year while splitting time with Marion Barber, can find explosiveness that helped him rush for 1,084 yards in 2006.

Finally, to shore up the offensive line, the 'Hawks brought in veteran offensive guard Mike Wahle, who spent the last three seasons with the Carolina Panthers. Wahle is a an old-school tough guy, who should remind fans of former guard Steve Hutchinson. New offensive line coach Mike Solari should help to get the line back to top-of-the-league standards.

2. OK, we might have a running game, but who will Matt Hasselbeck throw the ball to?
Wide receiver may be the biggest question mark for Seattle this season. Bobby Engram returns as the teams top receiver, having hauled in 94 passes last season for 1,147 yards. But Engram's age has to become a factor; the man is 35-years-old and not getting any younger. Engram, who has stated his hopes for a contract extension with the Seahawks, will have to have a stellar season to earn that wish.

Nate Burleson had the most touchdown catches (nine) for Seattle next season, and will have to become a bigger part of the offense due to Deion Branch's reconstructive knee surgery that makes his training-camp status a question mark. One of the team's young receivers will have to step up. Maybe it will be Courtney Taylor? Or Logan Payne, or Ben Obomanu? The 'Hawks four preseason games will give the young trio a chance to prove themselves.

3. Who is going to kick?
Josh Brown's right foot won more games in Seattle than the Seahawks care to admit following Brown's departure to arch-rival St. Louis. So while Brown is kicking in mop-up time for the hapless Rams, Seattle looks to replace the man with the golden leg.

The 'Hawks thought rookie Brandon Coutu had enough potential to warrant a seventh-round pick out of Georgia, where the was 51-of-64 for field goals and did not miss an extra point. He'll face off against Olindo Mare in training camp.

4. Where will tight end John Carlson fit into the Seahawks plans?
The Seahawks drafted Carlson in the second round, deciding he was the most NFL-ready of the tight ends in the draft. Seattle will likely run many offensive sets with two tight ends. Is Carlson ready to step up and be a big-time part of the Seattle offense? A dangerous tight end could give the Seahawks a valuable receiving option the 'Hawks have lacked in recent years.

I'll have part II up soon.

The Olympics-just another bore fest

Are you excited for the Olympics? Because I am just not feeling it.

I don't know why. I guess I should be. It is the premier athletic competition in the world.

I should care about who the fastest man in the world is. But I really don't. Can't put my finger on it. Just not excited.

I guess the only time I really care about the Olympics is in the winter Olympics, when the USA Hockey team is playing. The summer Olympics just don't really do it for me.

So do you care about the Olympics? Why or why not?