Yep, that's Michael Strahan
Wednesday, November 26, 2008
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
The Powerless Rankings: The Charlie Weis is fat edition
The Powerless Rankings rank the ten worst people, teams and events in the week of sports
10. Notre Dame football
Back when we first introduced ourselves , we laid down some simple ground rules. No. 1? No cheering for Notre Dame.
So after I've watched them suck complete ass under Charlie Weis, I've silently laughed. No more. Now I laugh laud. Why?
Because fuck Notre Dame, that's why. The Fighting Irish lost, for the first time in their HISTORY, to a team with eight losses in the current season. That would be Syracuse.
That hot seat you feel Charlie? It's not the waffle maker you're sitting on. It's your coaching job saying bye-bye.
9. Shaun Alexander
Alexander was the 2005 NFL MVP and now is out of a job, as the Redskins released the running back from Alabama today. It's amazing the amount of contempt fans had for Alexander as his time in Seattle was obviously waning. The man was the only MVP in team history...that means something.
He's also a strong example of the short lifespan of an NFL running back. The man's only 31 and now he's out of a job. Life in the NFL.
8. Texas Tech football
No one can claim they thought the Red Raiders would have an easy time with Oklahoma. But no one saw an absolute ass-kicking in the works.
65-21. Are you kidding me? Amazingly, Texas Tech can still get a BCS bowl berth- if Oklahoma loses to Oklahoma State on the road, Texas Tech would still get the berth to the Big 12 championship thanks to its win over Texas. Amazing.
7. The BCS
Everyone, including President-Elect Barack Obama, wants a playoff to prevent a season like this. Think about: Oregon State can leapfrog the No. 5 team in the country (USC) with a win over Oregon for the Rose Bowl. Can you keep the No. 5 team out of the top 5 bowls? Probably not. If Alabama stays undefeated, their in. Mid-major Utah is perfect - they're probably in. So why isn't Boise State? They're perfect too. If Florida beats Alabama in the SEC championship game, all hell will break loose. Dogs and cats will live together. Bill Belicheck will stop cheating. Charlie Weis will put down the turkey leg. Pure fucking chaos.
6. The BCS rankings
Want to know how ridiculous this is? The Sagarin rankings, which the BCS uses as its computer component, ranks FCS James Madison as the No. 24 team in the nation. Don't believe me? Click here. Nevermind the fact that JMU isn't eligible for the BCS bowls. No big deal.
5.Donovan McNabb
First, McDipshit didn't know the overtime rules for the NFL, the same NFL he's played in for nine seasons. Then he was benched for the second half of the Eagles loss against Baltimore. He's scheduled to start against Arizona on Thursday.
4. Jacquizz Rodgers' shoulder
The diminutive freshman running back may miss Oregon State's final game against Oregon. If the Beavers win, they take the Pac-10 title and will represent the league in the Rose Bowl against Penn State. Now they'll have to do it without the Pac's top runner.
3.The Detroit Lions
At least we aren't from Detroit. They can't even sell out their tickets to their Thanksgiving Day matchup with the Tennessee Titans and the game may be blacked out. Guess that's what happens when you lose 18 of your last 19 games.
2.ESPN's boner for the Dallas Cowboys and New England Patriots
My god it's embarrassing. You can actually see ESPN getting excited through their pants whenever the Cowboys or Patriots are being mentioned. It's embarrassing.
1. The Washington Huskies
The Huskies lost to the Cougars in double OT. WSU was widely considered the worst team in college football by a wide margin. UW running back Brandon Johnson put it best when he said "People said they were the worst team in the nation and we couldn't get a win. What does that say about us?"
Monday, November 17, 2008
FMR: The Apple Cup - so completely bad it's destined to be good
This weekend's Apple Cup matches two teams that have absolutely nothing to play for but one thing: pride.
And that's why I'm telling you, despite a combined 1-20 record, this will be a game that you will not want to miss.
Look past the fact that one team will get its first FBS win on Saturday. Look past the fact that these historically bad teams, are, well, historically really, really bad. Look past the fact that injuries have decimated both squads.
All you need to look at are the colors. Crimson and grey vs purple and gold.
Because when it comes down to sports, there's nothing like beating the living hell out of your biggest rival.
I can guarantee you the seniors at both teams could care less about their respective records once they hit the field. If you were a current redshirt senior at either school, here are the results from the last four years you played in the game.
2004: (redshirt year) WSU wins
2005: WSU wins
2006: UW wins
2007: WSU wins
If you are a WSU fifth-year senior, you want to look back not on your 1-10 record before this game, but your 4-1 record in Apple Cup games. At UW, you want to leave everything on the field, satisfied that, despite the fact you lost so many games, you managed to beat those Cougars from Pullman.
When it comes down to it, this game is what sports should really be about: taking on your rival, bragging rights on the line. The players on each side want this game, and want it bad. There will be passion on the field of Martin Stadium this Saturday unlike any other game this season.
Don't miss it.
And that's why I'm telling you, despite a combined 1-20 record, this will be a game that you will not want to miss.
Look past the fact that one team will get its first FBS win on Saturday. Look past the fact that these historically bad teams, are, well, historically really, really bad. Look past the fact that injuries have decimated both squads.
All you need to look at are the colors. Crimson and grey vs purple and gold.
Because when it comes down to sports, there's nothing like beating the living hell out of your biggest rival.
I can guarantee you the seniors at both teams could care less about their respective records once they hit the field. If you were a current redshirt senior at either school, here are the results from the last four years you played in the game.
2004: (redshirt year) WSU wins
2005: WSU wins
2006: UW wins
2007: WSU wins
If you are a WSU fifth-year senior, you want to look back not on your 1-10 record before this game, but your 4-1 record in Apple Cup games. At UW, you want to leave everything on the field, satisfied that, despite the fact you lost so many games, you managed to beat those Cougars from Pullman.
When it comes down to it, this game is what sports should really be about: taking on your rival, bragging rights on the line. The players on each side want this game, and want it bad. There will be passion on the field of Martin Stadium this Saturday unlike any other game this season.
Don't miss it.
Monday, November 10, 2008
FishBear Monday Rant
Editor's Note: Each Monday, we'll bring you a smorgasbord of ranting, known affectionatly as the "FishBear Monday Rant", where the FishBear will go off on any and all topics he damn well pleases
Well, it's time for the first-ever FishBear Monday Rant, and we've got a wealth of topics to cover. And what better place to start than the beginning.
ESPN hates hockey
Seriously, this is really starting to piss me off. I understand ESPN doesn't broadcast the NHL like they used to. But the lack of hockey at all on the station is really, really stupid. If you can't even mention hockey on Sportscenter, can we at least have NHL Tonight back, so we can see the highlights somewhere? Oh wait, nevermind, they don't have any room because the World Series of Poker is on, or bassmasters is showing. Ridiculous. Worldwide Leader in Sports eh? What a sham.
The Seahawks hate quality football
Seriously, what a frustrating game for a Seattle fan. All the drops reminded me of the last time Koren Robinson was on the team, when he and Darrell Jackson put on a clinic on how to not catch the football. Just a terrible, terrible game. Is it finally time to call this season dead, even playing in the horrible NFC West? Or can the Hawks win out and go 9-7 and somehow win the division with two games against Arizona to come? I'd bet on the former.
Joey Cora a finalist for the Mariner's managerial position
"Little" Joey Cora has been named as a finalist for the Mariners manager job. Cora was a part of the magical Mariner's season of 1995, but if all it took was being part of a magical team to be a manager, the Mariner Moose and Heathcliff Slocumb would be on this list.
Here's a loyal FishBear reader's take on Cora: "A lot can be said about Cora and the teams he was a part of during his time in Seattle but what it all boils down to is this - the dude is a bitch."
The reader is of course referencing Cora's famous cry after losing to the Indians in the 1995 ALCS. And if the dude is "a bitch" do you really want him managing your club? I don't.
The Heisman race
Here's my question - if Graham Harrell played for any other BCS title contender, such as Texas, Oklahoma, Florida, etc., would he considered anything but a complete lock for the Heisman? I'd be not. It's Texas Tech's reputation for ridiculous numbers that puts him at a disadvantage.
But the numbers don't lie.
Here's how he ranks compared to other QBs talked about being in the Heisman race:
Passing Yards per Game: Harrell, 1st in the country (407.7 ypg). Sam Bradford of Oklahoma is 3rd (340.6), Chase Daniel (the turd from Missouri) is 5th with 326.4 and Colt McCoy is 10th with 287.9.
Passing Efficiency: Harrell is seventh with a 169.2. The aforementioned players are all above him, but Harrell also throws much much more than the rest of the QB's. He's only about 18 points behind Bradford, the second place hurler in the catagory. With the amount he throws, a 169.2 rating is incredible.
Total offense per game: Harrell is 1st in the country again, with 407.2 Bradford is fourth, Daniel, sixth, McCoy eighth.
Total passing yards: Harrell is 1st in the country with 4,077, which is 671 yards more than second-place Bradford. Daniel is fourth with 3,264.
Completion percentage: Harrell is third, behind McCoy and Daniel. But again, when you look at his attempts, it's incredible.
Attempts: Harrell is 1st in the country with 463! Harrell has thrown 103 more times than Daniel, his next closest Heisman contender.
Touchdowns: Harrell is 2nd with 36, behind only Bradford, who has thrown 38.
Interceptions: Among the top-10 QBs in passing yards, Harrell has the least amount of interceptions (5). Less than Bradford (6), Daniel (8) and McCoy (7).
Graham Harrell for the Heisman.
Who plays in the national championship?
I think Texas Tech will remain undefeated. That leaves the Red Raiders needing an opponent. My call is Florida. I think they'll knock off Alabama in the SEC Championship game, and the one-loss Gators will get the nod over a one-loss Alabama (obviously with the victory) and a one-loss Penn State.
So who is your pick? USC? UW? WSU? Pullman High's junior varsity team?
Well, it's time for the first-ever FishBear Monday Rant, and we've got a wealth of topics to cover. And what better place to start than the beginning.
ESPN hates hockey
Seriously, this is really starting to piss me off. I understand ESPN doesn't broadcast the NHL like they used to. But the lack of hockey at all on the station is really, really stupid. If you can't even mention hockey on Sportscenter, can we at least have NHL Tonight back, so we can see the highlights somewhere? Oh wait, nevermind, they don't have any room because the World Series of Poker is on, or bassmasters is showing. Ridiculous. Worldwide Leader in Sports eh? What a sham.
The Seahawks hate quality football
Seriously, what a frustrating game for a Seattle fan. All the drops reminded me of the last time Koren Robinson was on the team, when he and Darrell Jackson put on a clinic on how to not catch the football. Just a terrible, terrible game. Is it finally time to call this season dead, even playing in the horrible NFC West? Or can the Hawks win out and go 9-7 and somehow win the division with two games against Arizona to come? I'd bet on the former.
Joey Cora a finalist for the Mariner's managerial position
"Little" Joey Cora has been named as a finalist for the Mariners manager job. Cora was a part of the magical Mariner's season of 1995, but if all it took was being part of a magical team to be a manager, the Mariner Moose and Heathcliff Slocumb would be on this list.
Here's a loyal FishBear reader's take on Cora: "A lot can be said about Cora and the teams he was a part of during his time in Seattle but what it all boils down to is this - the dude is a bitch."
The reader is of course referencing Cora's famous cry after losing to the Indians in the 1995 ALCS. And if the dude is "a bitch" do you really want him managing your club? I don't.
The Heisman race
Here's my question - if Graham Harrell played for any other BCS title contender, such as Texas, Oklahoma, Florida, etc., would he considered anything but a complete lock for the Heisman? I'd be not. It's Texas Tech's reputation for ridiculous numbers that puts him at a disadvantage.
But the numbers don't lie.
Here's how he ranks compared to other QBs talked about being in the Heisman race:
Passing Yards per Game: Harrell, 1st in the country (407.7 ypg). Sam Bradford of Oklahoma is 3rd (340.6), Chase Daniel (the turd from Missouri) is 5th with 326.4 and Colt McCoy is 10th with 287.9.
Passing Efficiency: Harrell is seventh with a 169.2. The aforementioned players are all above him, but Harrell also throws much much more than the rest of the QB's. He's only about 18 points behind Bradford, the second place hurler in the catagory. With the amount he throws, a 169.2 rating is incredible.
Total offense per game: Harrell is 1st in the country again, with 407.2 Bradford is fourth, Daniel, sixth, McCoy eighth.
Total passing yards: Harrell is 1st in the country with 4,077, which is 671 yards more than second-place Bradford. Daniel is fourth with 3,264.
Completion percentage: Harrell is third, behind McCoy and Daniel. But again, when you look at his attempts, it's incredible.
Attempts: Harrell is 1st in the country with 463! Harrell has thrown 103 more times than Daniel, his next closest Heisman contender.
Touchdowns: Harrell is 2nd with 36, behind only Bradford, who has thrown 38.
Interceptions: Among the top-10 QBs in passing yards, Harrell has the least amount of interceptions (5). Less than Bradford (6), Daniel (8) and McCoy (7).
Graham Harrell for the Heisman.
Who plays in the national championship?
I think Texas Tech will remain undefeated. That leaves the Red Raiders needing an opponent. My call is Florida. I think they'll knock off Alabama in the SEC Championship game, and the one-loss Gators will get the nod over a one-loss Alabama (obviously with the victory) and a one-loss Penn State.
So who is your pick? USC? UW? WSU? Pullman High's junior varsity team?
Monday, November 3, 2008
An open letter to WSU football fans
Dear Cougar fans,
Please back off the ledge.
Seriously, back up, get back in the building and quit contemplating the end.
Sure, things are bad. Hell, they're REAL bad. HISTORICALLY bad.
But, sadly, they're not as bad as things over in Montlake.
And here's why.
1. WSU had no expectations
Seriously, Bill Doba left this program a lot like my first car. It was going to run, but it was going to take a miracle for it to run well.
Everyone, absolutely every media member in the Pac-10 poll picked the Cougars to finish 10th in the conference.
There were no expectations, outside of fielding a team.
The same can't be said for Husky fans. Some were predicting a bowl game. Others were talking Rose Bowls. It didn't happen, and now the Huskies are the only Division-I football team without a win (North Texas took care of business this week).
2. You have your coach
Paul Wulff will turn things around. He's already got two big in-state signings: safety Jamal Atofau of Bellevue and Skyline's phenomenal wide receiver Gino Simone.
Wulff's a great recruiter and a great coach. But honestly, who could have won with the team WSU had this year?
UW has a lame duck. That will hurt.
3. A recruiting edge
Yes, I said it. The Cougars will have a recruiting edge this year. First, they have a head man with a vision for the future. Second, they have a slight advantage: spots are up for grabs.
Early playing time is a real possibility for recruits headed to WSU. UW played nearly 13 true freshman this season, meaning they'll have tons of guys with game experience coming back.
Don't believe me? Atofau said one of the main reasons he signed with the Cougs was playing early.
4. You have a win
Yes, it came against Portland State. But it's one more than UW. At least the Cougars have the good sense to schedule a competitive game rather than the proud Huskies, who seem to be stuck in the "good 'ol days".
UW is one of only 5 FBS teams to never have played a FCS (formally Div-1A) team. Looks like they should have this season.
5. There's no way they can be as bad
Honestly, in year two, there is no possibility WSU can perform as absymally as this season. They've been outscored 398-94. They've allowed 60 points or more four times, and nearly allowed it a fifth time with that 58-0 loss to Stanford.
Yeah, it's embarrassing. But it can't get much worse.
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